A week in pubs: w/c 1 November 2010

8 11 2010

Pub visits this week 5
Location Sheffield

Get to the pub.com is a pub blog rather than a beer blog. This being the case, when it comes to guidebooks I’d expect to find a pub guide more useful or valuable than a beer guide. But whatever you can say about Camra’s Good Beer Guide, its rival Good Pub Guide has become worse than useless overnight now that it’s given up all pretence to credibility by charging pubs to be included. I’ve found the Good Pub Guide pretty useful now and again over the years, but while this policy stands I’ll never buy it again.

Speaking of credibility issues and vested interests, you may have seen some of the coverage of a recent ‘finding’, by the former government drugs adviser David Nutt, that alcohol is more harmful than many illegal narcotics. If you have, then you owe it to yourself to read the brilliant deconstructions of this nonsense by Phil Mellows and Pete Brown. If you haven’t, just forget it and carry on. But it’s scary how much airplay the forces of neo-prohibitionism are able to command and on such flimsy evidence.

The price of getting to the pub is eternal vigilance. Eternal vigilance and about £2.60 a pint, depending on where you live and what you drink.

The Hallamshire House

The Hallamshire House. Photo: Marianthi Makra

On Thursday my girlfriend and I are sneaking a night out at the Hallamshire House, just down the road in Commonside. I like this bit of Sheffield, its suburban murmur, its proximity to town, its balance of studenty hum with residential peace, its ability to slip snugly into autumn like your arms into your favourite coat, its superb and superbly named chippy New Cod on the Block.

There are quizzes everywhere. After a couple of drinks here – and after turning down the offer of a question sheet and a pen – we look in at the Closed Shop across the road. Quiz in full flow, every table taken. So it’s on to the Princess Royal instead, which allows me to stay on the excellent and highly quaffable Five Rivers, a glistening, gossamer-light ale from the Sheffield Brewery Co. “Name a well-known medium or psychic,” asks the quizmaster. One table is confused, then its confusion is resolved. “Oh! I thought he said sidekick!”

The Sheffield Tap has been with us for nearly a year now (while its cousin the Euston Tap is newly delivered into the world). It’s become firmly established as a superlative railway pub which people will readily seek out even if they’re not using the station. Good thing, then, that there’s now a bit more space to park your bum, as it’s been uncomfortably busy here at times. My visit late on Friday makes full use thereof, and is lit up further by the wondrous American Pale Ale from the increasingly impressive Dark Star brewery. Fine work all round.

At length our group finds itself the last to leave and we are urged by the staff to get a move on. I think this is the first time I’ve experienced this since I left Birmingham and its mediocre pubs in 2004. And even now the urging is assertive rather than aggressive. Back in Birmingham you’d barely have chance to raise the final rubbish pint to your mouth before a Tyrannosaurus in a long black coat marked the hour of 11:01pm by bawling into your ear: “C’ y’ starseeinyerdrinksoffnowPLEEEEAAAAASE!”

The Sheffield Tap

The Cremorne over on London Road has always seemed to me a curious sort of pub, not quite sure what it wants to be or who it wants to please, but not bad, intriguing, holding a promise of good times if you roll up at just the right moment. Dan and I drop by on Saturday afternoon to talk to someone about putting a gig on here. He doesn’t turn up, but there are beers on from the Sheffield Brewery Co again, so it’s not a waste of our 40-minute walk from S6. “Sorry for dragging you over here for nothing,” says Dan. Hey, it’s still a pub.

And on Sunday night it’s quiz night at the lovely Gardeners Rest, one of my favourite Sheffield pubs and one I’d surely get to more often if it weren’t in so awkward a spot. My contribution to the team effort is as minimal as always, but there’s plenty here to savour nonetheless – not least a lush Rum Porter from the Boggart Brewery of Manchester. Presumably the life-size animated speaking horror dummy in the corner is a remnant from Hallowe’en; either way, it takes a couple of pints to stop being alarmed when its grey straggly grinning head turns round and it starts to reel off disquieting utterances like a sinister butler from the Hammer films.

The macabre theme continues among the Gardeners’ living denizens, and the spirit of Guy Fawkes is in the air. “If it came to it, I’d burn Nick Clegg,” reflects one drinker. “Can I join in?” asks another. It’s a great moment, but I can’t quite decide whether it’s the greatest of the evening. The thing is, there’s also the moment when I win 150 quid on the accumulator. And there’s also the unforgettable experience of walking up to the bar and seeing a bloody Mary being prepared using Henderson’s Relish.





A week in pubs: w/c 15 March 2010

22 03 2010

Pub visits this week: 5

It feels like more than five! This week I’ve probably been ‘binge drinking’, in that I’ve only had two days of drinking but possibly compressed a week’s worth of alcohol into them. First there was a midweek evening here in Sheffield, then a whole Saturday around the football (and a party at my mum’s) over in Cleethorpes. In 2010, the sort of recreation I’ve just enjoyed is supposed to be a very bad thing. For an hour on Sunday morning I’d have agreed. Now it just feels like the key to an altogether richer way of life.

Of course, it’s always worth pointing out that this stands in contradiction to the habitually sensationalist and misleading coverage given to drinking by much of Britain’s media. Like an enormous majority of sometime ‘binge drinkers’, I’ve never once in my entire life had a fight, smashed up a kebab shop or ended the evening in A&E with a bloodied head. I did spill a bit of Black Sheep on my mum’s carpet, but it’s quite a dark carpet so it didn’t show up.

Wednesday
The Broadfield, Abbeydale Road, Sheffield. This time it’s not the tasty Abbeydale beer that charms me most about the Broady. It’s not the cheese sandwich and chips or the diverse smattering of lunchtime drinkers. It’s not even the great service. And it’s certainly not the silent horse racing on the telly. It’s the ELO compilation playing over the speakers. I’m not being in the least bit sarcastic here. I bloody love ELO. And I bloody love the Broady for cheering me up a treat on a grey weekday afternoon by randomly choosing to play an album of songs recorded 35 years ago by some men from Birmingham with terrible hair.

Sheffield Tap, Sheffield (featured here). The Tap is heaving with after-work drinkers and railway travellers, and with a great many non-Irish people celebrating St Patrick’s Day by drinking whatever they normally drink while wearing oversized green woollen hats. It’s been a bad day to forget my camera.

With an hour to pass before my friend Si arrives at seven o’clock, I’m on a stool at the corner of the bar: a seating location which fans of the 80s US pub-based TV hit Cheers will recognise as the Cliff and Norm Position. Drinkers seated in the Cliff and Norm Position invariably feel empowered to hold forth on a range of topics ‒ not merely to talk, you understand, but to hold forth ‒ often with complete strangers. And so it is that I find myself discussing pubs, beer, work, Sheffield, Nottingham and Derbyshire with a bloke called Craig who’s waiting to meet a couple of his friends. At length they arrive. They’re both called John. Our random discourse continues, all the more stimulating for its randomness. One of the Johns is about to go and live in Uzbekistan for a bit. And you really can’t get much more random than that.

Bath Hotel, Victoria Street, Sheffield. How easy it is to neglect a favourite pub. The Bath is one of the best pubs in the city centre, with a rapidly changing and imaginatively chosen roster of ales, an attractive two-room interior with loads of character, and an interesting clientele. And it’s the first time I’ve been in since at least the turn of the year.

After a couple of pints of a lovely, smoky, butterscotchy Thornbridge stout at the Tap, I’m reverting to the same Abbeydale brew I keep enjoying at the Broadfield but forgetting the name of. It’s not quite hitting the spot this time, though (my tastebuds still reeling after the veggie kebab I troughed between pubs was slathered in hot chilli rather than sweet chilli sauce), so I take a pint of dark mild from Tom Wood’s brewery. Cara, Dan, Jono and I then spend five minutes trying to decide what defines a mild, and I glow in quiet satisfaction at having fulfilled one of my immutable Rules of Pub. I’m not a great one for patriotism or anything, but if there’s a Lincolnshire beer on, I always have to drink it.

The Imperial

The Imperial (see below), happier than it's been for a while

Saturday
Rutland Arms, Rutland Street, Grimsby (featured here). There’s a school of thought that a man’s time at the football is a sort of sanctuary from both work and family, after a hard week of, um, doing work and family stuff; a necessary chance to be with other men so they can all swear, belch and scratch their bollocks together. There’s another school of thought ‒ mine ‒ that all this gender stereotype stuff is as hideous as it is stupid. However, it feels very strange indeed to have my girlfriend and son with me at the pub before the football today. My girlfriend, of course, visited here many times before my son gave her the perfect excuse not to come and watch Grimsby any more and just watch her own team (Tottenham) on the telly instead.

We’re late and I drink quickly. Before I know it, my son is dancing on the pool table. This gives rise to two distinct feelings: an immediate concern that we’ll get told off by the landlady, and a vague embarrassment at the recollection that I might have once done the same thing my son is now doing, except he’s dancing on a pool table at the age of one, and I was about 28. Still, as strange and disquieting as it may be to have my girlfriend and son at the pub before the football, and to be reminded of occasional drunken episodes in my past, they pale beside the outright fantasticality of then watching Grimsby win a game of football. If this is the effect it has, they might have to start coming all the time.

The Imperial, Grimsby Road, Cleethorpes. So noteworthy, in fact, is the occasion of seeing my team win that I mark it afterwards with a first visit since about 2004 to the Imp ‒ the big, rowdy pub dead close to the ground. I’m still so shocked, as it happens, that I’m going to make it the next featured pub on this website. Look out for the extended write-up sometime soonish!








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